sometimes…

Sometimes things have to fall apart so that they can come together.
Including ourselves.
Yesterday was a good day.
Until a wave of exhaustion and grief hit me out of nowhere.
The tears fell.
The breath was shortened.
The fear, the hurt, the panic and the worry set in.
I fell apart, all at once.

My oldest daughter was feeling it too, which I know is what triggered me. She said she felt like she couldn’t breathe and she just starting crying. This pandemic is affecting all of us – even our kids. And add in a divorce and trying to cope and help children cope…that’s a whole other level. Go through both at the same time… it can be so damn heavy.

So how I got through it… and how I helped my daughter through it…. We sat under the moon outside …we saw lightening bugs. Smiled at the little glimmers of hope and light. We talked about angels and death and this virus and love and loss and grief. We talked about doing our best and letting ourselves feel. We both cried. And it was tough because it made me realize, yet again, how deeply beautiful and precious children, love and life are. The simple things. And then I chatted with a friend who simply held space for me and listened to me cry. Told me it would be okay and these emotions are normal. To give myself space and grace. You know, all the things I write about and encourage my children with 🙃😉 Those moments are what get me through, and I have no doubt someone reading this feels this and can relate…♥️The thing is, we MUST allow ourselves to feel, to fall apart, to be seen when we are at our lowest and to let people hold space for us. It isn’t easy, but we don’t have to pretend to be strong all the time. That is a lesson I’m navigating through right now.

Sometimes it is what it is and that’s it. ✌🏻🙌🏻

I would love to hear from you. How are your children dealing with this? Are you having honest and open conversations with them? And are they reminding you of the simple things that we seem to forget sometimes? And if you don’t have children, how are you dealing with all of this?

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