You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.
Are there times you’ll need to…… and have to…. absolutely. But those are in certain situations. Rare situations, in fact. IF you apply the things I’m about to suggest.
The holidays are upon us and mostly it’s a time of joy and happiness and making memories and fun. But for many, they are sad times, lonely times and stressful for reasons sometimes beyond control.
No matter where you are, what season you’re in, what you’re going through… holiday or no holiday… I’m going to share a few ways to stay sane through setting boundaries.
Now for the good stuff…
How to stay SANE during the holidays (and throughout the year):
- SET BOUNDARIES …..and stick with them!! If you say you’re not available, don’t be. If you say you are, then be there. One of the most beneficial books I’ve ever read was The Best Yes by Lysa Terkeurst…. and to sum up her tips… if it doesn’t fit physically, financially, & spiritually (ALL OF THEM) then the answer is no. I’ll add to that.. emotionally & mentally. Another important step when setting boundaries is to make people aware of them if necessary. If you are going to stay home for Christmas this year, and not hop to 4 different houses, then say so. Be sensitive & empathetic to their feelings but firm in your boundaries.
- You don’t owe an explanation to anyone. Being confident and standing firm in what you believe is explanation enough. Period. And trust me when I say people will respect you in the end, even if they don’t get it at first (because chances are, they didn’t want to do that something either, but weren’t prepared to say no.) Refer to #1 above… does it fit?
- Be sure to respect other people’s boundaries as well. Everyone has their reasons for doing the things they do, saying the things they say, etc. It may not make sense to us, but it is what it is, most of the time. And compassion goes a long way and creates a sense of peace in our hearts, rather than anger and judgement. Accept how it is and know it has nothing to do with you. (and if you feel it does, ASK…. after you’ve allowed yourself to simmer down of course ;))
- Forgive forgive & forgive again. But don’t allow people to run you over. If you feel like you’re being taken advantage of, there are a few ways to handle that, but I’ll save that for another post. 😉
- Stay present & count your blessings. I know, it sounds cliche, but staying in a state of gratitude as often as possible will help stay sane. Another tip: create a “Top 10” gratitude list and save it as the background to your phone… let that be your reminder & look at it when you’re feeling stressed.
- JOURNALING idea: What do the holidays mean to you (and your family)? What’s REALLY important to you & yours? Write that at the top of a piece of paper / in your journal and free write. Then if something is not on that list… DON’T DO IT.
I’d love to hear your feedback… what works for you? Do these tips help? How are you feeling going into this holiday season? Email me anytime at email@example.com
Love & hugs to you. I am so grateful for you. Happy Thanksgiving. <3