If pleasing people was the key to happiness, you would be happy by now. ~Alan Cohen
Let’s talk about boundaries, shall we?
Think about a time that you said yes, when every part of you wanted to say no.
I’m talking about saying yes to a project, a commitment, a social event, a family situation, a conversation… it can be anything. You may not even know why you wanted to say no, because you always say yes…but this time it didn’t feel right. But you still said yes.
Can you relate? Keep reading : )
Think about how you handled that situation.
How did you feel after you said yes/agreed? (Be honest, how did you REALLY feel?)
You may have felt resentment, stressed, annoyed, frustrated, overwhelmed, stripped, taken advantage of, defiant, and/or exhausted.
But why, when you were doing something for someone else, after all, isn’t serving others and being there for others supposed to feel good?
Yes, most of the time it is, but it must come from an aligned place in your soul.
So let’s chat about that….
Think to yourself again…..how did the situation turn out?
And what would have happened if you would have said NO?
What’s the worst thing that could have happened? And ultimately, would the worst have been YOUR fault? (<—That answer is no, btw;))
Over the years as I’ve grown personally and spiritually, when faced with a decision, I have had to ask myself, ‘is this aligned with my soul?’ I am naturally a people pleaser and I don’t like to disappoint anyone, and I have often felt guilty for feeling like I’ve let someone down, even though it just didn’t feel right in my soul and line up with my/my family’s priorities.
And if saying ‘no’ is not something you’re used to doing, you may stress and worry, your heart may beat fast, your hands may sweat and you may feel guilty at first, but after you say no, the FREEDOM what comes with that is worth all those other yucky feelings! Not to mention, people respect people who say no a whole lot more because when they are able to say yes, it’s genuine and truly in alignment with both parties.
If you struggle with saying no, try asking these questions:
Does this fit:
Did it align with ALL of those things?
If so, say yes.
If even one of them is off and doesn’t feel aligned, the answer needs to be no. (Otherwise, remember the feelings you had before!)
And remember, NO is a complete sentence.
It’s also important to remember that we are NOT responsible for the way someone reacts when we decide that no is the answer. You can only do what you can do (aligned, physically, financially, spiritually, and emotionally).
On the other hand, certain situations most definitely require a yes, and those are the ones that DO fit in the physically, financially, spiritually, emotionally box.
And saying YES when you’re totally aligned with all of those, is a wonderful feeling.
Love makes the world go ‘round and so does being honest with our loved ones and most importantly, with ourselves.
If this resonates with you, I’d love to hear from you!