Something happens when you go through a transformation.
Anybody been there? Are you there now?
When you go through a transformation, be it physical, emotional, mental or spiritual, you change. And sometimes the people closest to you don’t. You may feel like they don’t get it….like they don’t support it….like they are resentful…and that they may feel left out.
And sometimes those things are true…
And sometimes it’s OUR assumptions that that’s how they feel, when it’s not reality at all.
Some are totally 100% OKAY with who they are, their choices, their lifestyles and how they choose to live.
And we have ZERO control over that.
That is 100% THEIR CHOICE.
But what happens if their choices and their actions affect OUR transformations in a negative way?
Let’s get to the bottom of it (it may surprise you…)
When you embark on a journey, let’s say physical (weight loss). You got to the point that something had to give. You had had enough. As with every transformation, something sparked in you that said something’s gotta give.
Naturally, as you begin, you realize that you get excited, motivated, lit up and as you begin to transform, you may feel more at ease, more confident, more humble, more appreciative.
But this doesn’t always resonate well with those closest to us for a number of reasons.
A few tips, as over the past several years I’ve gone through each one of those transformations and to be honest, although it was a necessary change for ME, it was a tough transition for some closest to me.
- Remember to focus on the REAL REASON you decided to make the transformation (was it for health reasons, spiritual reasons, your children’s best interest, your gut feelings, etc.) Dig deep into WHY you decided to make the choice you did. Then stick with that story, remember the WHY. Put it at the forefront of all that you do when it comes to your situation/transformation.
- Remember it’s not about THEM. You did this for a reason within YOUR SOUL. Focus on that WHY. It’s easier to not take things personal when you know WHY you’re making the changes.
- Be patient, loving & kind, but don’t submit. What do I mean? Respect and honor the feelings of your loved ones if they’re struggling with your changes, but stick to your guns and your gut if this is something that TRULY needs to happen to better yourself and your life and the lives of those closest to you (example: I had PPD and had NO OTHER CHOICE but to lose 30 pounds, begin an exercise regime, change my nutrition habits and join a community so that I could move through my PPD and anxiety, and be strong, mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually so that I could be the best human I could possibly be, enabling me to be a better mom so I could BETTER the lives of my children! So when I say nothing was going to stop me that it HAD to happen, trust me when I say, nothing stopped me!)
- Keep the lines of communication OPEN!! Talk about it. Listen to the concerns. Be ready to discuss, but don’t be immediately defensive.
- If they’re open to it, INVOLVE THEM. Find ways to involve them that make them comfortable, that work for THEM, if and only if they’re open to it!
- Release CONTROL. You are responsible for YOU and no.other.human.being. They are capable to make their own decisions. You cannot change them. Don’t try. Just stay on track and share your journey if you feel led to.
- Don’t take it PERSONAL. Many times it is not personal attack, it is their own fears and insecurities bubbling up to the surface. Be compassionate, but don’t give in because YOU DESERVE THIS AND YOU GOT THIS.
- Don’t feel GUILTY. If your motives are honest and you lead with integrity, you have absolutely nothing to feel bad about.
I would love to hear from you — what tips and advice do you have based off your own experience?